Monday, November 1, 2010

{big news}'s been a slow two months of posting here at the fourth house on the left. I'm sure this has greatly disappointed my {single-digit} blog audience. Alternatively, you may not have noticed the blog silence at all, in which case I would gander that you find my life about as interesting as reading Chaucer. If you were sincerely disappointed by the non-posting, I do apologize; and if you didn't even notice, truly I can't blame you. I didn't notice, either.

So, why the dearth of chubby-cheeked photos and mildly humorous accounts of baby/toddlerhood? Well, I've spent the past 2 1/2 months trying not to barf during every waking moment, and promptly passing out for the night {in my work clothes} when I put Connor to bed at 8:30 pm. So, you can imagine that, along with a few other things {a groomed personal appearance, nightly toothbrushing, laundry, and any semblance of a professional work ethic} this blog was summarily abandoned for the duration. I suppose this is only a preview of what's to come, since {you may have guessed this}:

We are expecting baby #2 in late April!

Normally, my body-intuition is laughably incorrect {e.g. I was totally convinced that Connor was going to be a girl, and came within 2 clicks of purchasing the PBK Penelope bedroom set in anticipation of meeting a baby who I thought would be named Madeleine. When I found out at our 20-week ultrasound that CP was, in fact, CP, I forced a smile, then went out for Chinese food with Shawn and sobbed over wonton soup that I didn't even know my baby, what kind of a mother would I be?? Then I ate all my cashew chicken and half of Shawn's. And went to Coldstone for desert.} This time, however, I just knew that I was pregnant, and knew that I knew. Since I wasn't charting, I had only the vaguest general idea of when I could take a pregnancy test and expect a conclusive result. So, I just started peeing on a stick every day, sometimes twice a day. All of which were negative results. Shawn caught on to this after a few days and was like "uh, don't those things cost like $10 each??" To which I replied "um, no, they cost $8 each. honey." He asked why I couldn't just wait "like 2 more weeks, see what happens, then take one test." I told him that only normal people could do something like that, and he married a good old-fashioned-crazy, so the "wait and then test once" option was clearly not a possibility.

Undaunted by the 10 negative pregnancy tests I'd taken, I stopped by the Dollar Store one day after work and bought 7 more {much cheaper} tests. Five days {and 6 negative pregnancy tests} later, I was 98% convinced that, yet again, I was wrong and didn't know anything about my body. So, on the evening of August 15th, I drank a beer {oops, sorry baby}, talked to Shawn about how disappointed I was, then got ready for bed. On a whim, I decided to take the very last test. The second line didn't appear right away, and I was just about to toss it the test in the garbage, when I looked closer and saw the faintest pink line emerging from the white background. I ran down the stairs, waving the test and shouting to Shawn "do you SEE this LINE?!?!" He replied "yeah, i see one line." To which I countered: "no, not the line that's obviously a line, I'm talking about the line that is HALF IMAGINARY-- DO YOU SEE IT?" He refused to believe that there were two lines on the test. Luckily for me, I knew the internet was as full of the crazy as I was, so I did a quick Google Image search for "positive Dollar Store pregnancy test" and THOUSANDS of comparative images appeared. {yes, dear reader, thousands of women have, in fact, posted pictures of their dollar store pregnancy tests on the interwebs. There are even websites staffed by pee-stick gurus, wholly dedicated to pregnancy test analysis.} Shawn was still skeptical, but became a believer the next morning when a digital pregnancy test indisputably read "Pregnant."

I'm 15 weeks now, happy to be out of the first trimester, and I ate an entire 16 oz steak for dinner on Saturday.

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